Thursday, April 26, 2007

Babies Are From Baby-Lon

When I was a kid, we came up with a theory on where babies come from. They are actually space travelers from the planet Baby-Lon. Baby-Lon is an Earthlike planet whose gravity is quite a bit less than Earth's, so scientists from Baby-Lon come here to do gravity experiments. Initially they are unused to the heavy gravity, which is why they can barely move their arms or lift their heads. After an initial adjustment period, Baby-Lonian scientists begin their gravity experiments, dropping objects from their chairs to observe their fall. They speak their own language, file reports to their home planet through their instant voice transmitter network at odd hours that coincide with the Baby-Lonian daytime, and get excited when they encounter another Baby-Lonian. They observe traditional Baby-Lonian customs such as expressing appreciation for a meal by placing one's bowl on one's head. Eventually, though, they learn to speak our language and "go native." They don't return to Baby-Lon, which is why Baby-Lon continues to send more of their best scientists to Earth to continue the important experimental work.