Friday, January 13, 2006

My Third Worst Nightmare

I am deathly afraid of indoor plumbing.

(It doesn't stop me from using it, though.)

When we lived in our mobile home, the plumbing there was so crappy that we sprung leaks in it all the time. I developed a fear of water noises that is so severe that when we moved to our new house, I kept waking up at three in the morning when the neighbors' sprinklers turned on. I just couldn't sleep; I heard water noises, and they immediately and irrevocably wake me up. Even things that sound like water noise wake me. It took me months and months to adjust to having a computer in my bedroom, because FH insisted on leaving it on all night and the fans sounded like water to me. I kept waking up and walking all over the house looking for the plumbing leak. And I could never sleep through rainstorms. All that water falling down, right outside my window. It's a good thing we didn't live in Seattle.

I was having a perfectly good crazy dream last night, featuring fish that morphed into water-breathing dinosaurs when fed the right seaweed, cable TV service that offered noodle home delivery as a feature, and my brother (as a child about Sonshine's age) returning from his mission to the Ukraine wearing Underoos two years too tight. And then something went wrong with the plumbing to the fish tanks, and all hell broke loose. My dream turned into a nightmare so scary that I was forced to wake myself up.