Slambook Memories

When I was in junior high, the big thing to do at the end of the year was to make a "slambook", which was a spiral notebook with a question on every page, followed by a numbered list. The first page of the slambook always asked for your name, and on that page you chose a number to write your name by. Thereafter, on every page, you wrote your answer to the question by that number.

The questions depended on whose slambook it was. Some slambooks had pretty tame questions, like "What is your favorite color?" Some got a little more daring: "Are you a virgin?" But the one that always baffled me was the one that seemed to appear in every slambook belonging to a popular and slutty girl: "You wake up in the morning and there's a dick in your room. What do you do?"

I never did get what that question was asking. You wake up and there's a dick in your room? Just a dick? Well, I suppose if you were a guy, that wouldn't be a big deal, because it would be just like every other morning. But if you were a girl, as all slambook participants were? Were they asking what you would do if you woke up to some sort of disembodied dick?? I always wrote that I'd call the police. I'd be very quick about it, because I hear they can surgically reattach those things if you act quickly enough.

The question would have made more sense if they'd asked "You wake up in the morning and there's a naked guy in your room. What do you do?" That one would not have baffled me. In that case I would definitely have called the police. I hear they can surgically reattach those things if you act quickly enough.