Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Non-Coupon-Clipper's Manifesto

I will scream it from the rooftops: I DO NOT CLIP COUPONS!!!!!! Everybody around here's always going on about these coupon-clipping programs. There's even a radio show every Saturday just on how to clip coupons. Women are paying good money every month to receive tips on how to shop with coupons. It's like some kind of proselytizing religion-- they're always trying to convince me to do it. I do not give in! And this is why.
  1. My family's food allergies prevent us from eating many of the foods for which coupons are available.
  2. My kids' Asperger Syndrome means I have to have them on an even keel all the time-- always cooking the same foods, always having staple foods available. You should see what happens when we run out of bananas two days before payday. If we lived on what we could get with coupons, they would not be happy campers.
  3. Coupons are only available for name-brand foods. Even at a discount, most name-brand prepared foods are not cheaper than food cooked from scratch, because you are paying someone else to prepare the food for you.
  4. Not only that but pre-prepared foods don't taste nearly as good as home cooking, nor are they as nutritious.
But the best reason of all:

5. Think about how many hours you spend getting your online tips, rifling through newspapers, and clipping coupons so that you can get a packet of Pillsbury rolls for free. Multiply that by $5.15. Add in the amount you pay the Grocery Guru for your hot coupon tips, and the cost of your newspaper subscription(s) (I heard him recommend taking TWO Sunday papers on the radio). Does your savings in cash on the Pillsbury rolls exceed your savings in time-money? No? Then you'd be better off working at the grocery store than clipping coupons.