Thomas Edison Betta, R.I.P.

Tiny Princess' betta fish, Thomas Edison, passed away yesterday in a hospital bowl next to the main fish tank. We suspect Thomas was the victim of foul play. On Saturday, the tank sprung a leak and all the fish were transferred to a new, larger tank. Thomas had been in a separate bowl, but Favorite Husband put him in the larger tank with the other fish. Thomas was doing just fine until the gourami, Benjamin, was admitted to the tank on Sunday. When we discovered on Tuesday that large portions of his tail were missing, we transferred him to the hospital bowl. We suspect Benjamin, encouraged by the size of the new tank, was attacking him. Unfortunately, Benjamin has been intimidating the guppies, who are the only witnesses who can confirm the attacks. We've seen him chasing the guppies now that Thomas is gone.

Funeral services will be this morning in the master bathroom. In lieu of flowers please send donations to your favorite charity.