Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Kids And Their Dads

Sonshine has a friend that he likes to visit. One day I went to pick him up from this friend's house, and we discussed a future playdate for the boys. She mentioned that such-and-such a day would work, but only if I were OK with her leaving the boys with her husband for an hour or so. I said that would be fine, but I thought it was strange that she would think it would even be something that needed mentioning, so I asked her why. She said that some people are not OK with kids being left alone with a man, and I told her that I thought that attitude was incredibly sexist and of course I would be fine with the boys being under a father's supervision.

It occurred to me that people who won't leave their kids (especially sons) alone with a father are basically saying that they don't trust the mother's judgment. We would hope that a mother would pick a man who isn't a child abuser to be her husband. If you don't believe she has enough judgment to pick a good man, then why the hell would you be willing to leave your precious child with her in the first place?

Kids need their dads. They need to see dads in a leadership role in the family. Boys especially need to do things with their dads, so that their dads can show them how to be men. It is not healthy for boys to grow up seeing that child care is solely a woman's responsibility. Yeah, there are child abusers out there, so don't leave your children with random men. But a man who's already been vetted by a woman you trust? Why the heck not?