Thursday, September 29, 2005

All Poop, All The Time

If you have ever had a fascination with or love of poop, do the world a favor and volunteer to look after toddlers. For some inadequately explained reason, 90% of all poop accidents occur less than 5 minutes before you have to leave to be somewhere. But since poop accidents take a minimum of 10 times longer to clean up than to make, if you have a toddler you will inevitably end up being late to somewhere.

Bagel has discovered how to take off his diaper, and he does so whenever he can. Unfortunately, despite our best efforts to keep his diaper clean, "whenever he can" usually occurs when the diaper is full of poop. After he relieves himself of the burden of a dirty diaper, he will go on a free-hanging frolicking romp all over the house. Last week he climbed up into Sonshine's bed and sat on every single one of his blankets. Yesterday, he was confined to his crib during the diaper removal, but he still managed to spread feces all over his sheets, as well as putting a good-sized puddle in his pillow. When he's not flinging his own poo like a monkey, Bagel needs constant poopy diaper changes. I guess all that food he eats has to go somewhere.

This morning Sonshine decided to get in on the poop action, and had a small accident right before we were to leave for school. He was cleaning it up himself, but he somehow managed to get his sleeve wet with some liquid that, by the time he got to school, had turned the fabric from blue to yellow. I still haven't figured out what he managed to dip his sleeve in (he just said "I don't know" when I asked him). I hope the stain comes out, although if it just turned his sleeve yellow like that, I doubt it's reversible.

The only child I have who doesn't have a poop problem is Princess. She has a pee problem; she keeps on wetting her pants when she's over at a friend's house.

I would really, really like to have thirty entirely poop-free minutes today...