Help Wanted: Babies

We are now accepting applications for the entry-level position of Baby. The ideal candidate will be:

• very small (under 2 feet in height)
  
• extremely cute
• have large cheeks
• able to suckle
• willing to undergo a physically demanding "birth" process
• happy disposition or ticklishness a plus
  

This position is open until filled. No experience is necessary for this position. Experienced babies may wish to apply for the position of Toddler.