Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Your Dose Of Baby Cuteness

It is a little-known fact that babies must be pruned daily to ensure proper growth. Scientific studies have been done in rats that show that if a mother rat is not allowed to lick a part of her baby rat, then that part atrophies. Obviously, human moms don't lick their babies; they munch on them instead.

Start at the top of the baby. Kiss the baby on the head; this makes them smart. Be sure to also kiss the cheeks on both sides, so that the head maintains the proper aspect ratio and doesn't get too tall from all the kissing on the head.

Munch on the fingers and toes of the baby to ensure proper growth of the legs and arms. At least once a week also munch on the arms and legs to keep them from getting too skinny.

Munch the tummy of the baby to encourage proper digestion. Turn the baby over and munch the baby back ribs for optimum growth of the torso.

If you follow these simple directions, you should have a perfectly-sized plump, happy baby like the one in the picture above.