Wednesday, June 16, 2004


I've finally had the long-awaited insight into why my Bagel is coming into this world and what he is here to do.

With each pregnancy, I've come to know the little person inside me and understand something of their character and their purpose on the earth. Also I had a feeling about when their spirit really entered their developing body to stay for good. I get the distinct impression that babies in the womb get to choose when during the pregnancy they enter their new bodies, just like if you were constructing a house you might choose to live on-site right from the start, move in when the house is partly finished, or wait until everything is perfect before moving in.

Tiny Princess is a sort of Mini-Me, only a bit less intellectual and more outgoing and feminine. She's exactly like I would have been, had I ever had an ounce of estrogen in my body. I knew she was a girl from about thirteen weeks on, she was just so feminine. All I could think about while pregnant with her were ruffly little dresses with bloomers; I normally hate ruffly little dresses with bloomers, but while pregnant with her, I could only think about how cute they would be. She came to stay very early in the pregnancy because she had never been a fetus before and was eager to find out what it was like. She is here on earth to learn and discover.

Sonshine came to stay about four months into the pregnancy. At that time he and I had a little discussion about the pregnancy. He sensed (rightly) that he had come at a very inconvenient time for me, and he offered to miscarry and come back later when I wasn't so busy. It was a tempting offer. But I had a Maturity MomentTM and I told him that working around the inconvenience was my problem, not his, and he should come anyway. So after that he stayed. Sonshine is here to fight evil. He was deeply involved in the fight against evil in the pre-existence, and wanted to take it to the next level. He was so impatient to do this that he pushed himself out of my womb and almost hit the floor. The last impression that I got from him was that he was sorely disappointed to discover that the body he'd gotten was feeble, small, and hungry, and did not come with a shiny sword. And he's been hurling himself headfirst toward the floor ever since.

Bagel, though, has been much more difficult to understand. I haven't been able to get a "read" on him at any time during the last nine months. I haven't felt his presence like I did with the other two. I finally thought to pray about it this morning (OK, so I'm a little slow). I was given the insight that he is well named after his grandfather's side of the family, because like that side of the family he doesn't trust easily and is here to learn to trust in others and not in his own ability. Sonshine, in particular, is well chosen as his brother because he trusts naturally in Favorite Husband and I even when being punished by us, and Tiny Princess is well chosen as his sister because of her caregiving and empathy. They will both be role models for him, he for his example and she for her trustworthiness.

That's a really good insight. I've long wondered why Tiny Princess and Sonshine were sent to the same family, because they are complete polar opposites and they fight like cats and dogs. Come to think of it, I've long wondered why I'm supposed to be married to Favorite Husband, who is as much like Sonshine as I am like Tiny Princess. F.H. and I don't fight like they do (we are, after all, older and more mature) but we both frustrate the crap out of each other by our natures, just like they do. Now it looks like we were all assigned to the same family for a reason. It's nice to know, after almost 11 years of marriage, that there is a method to the madness, that the Lord really does know what He's doing when He puts us all together in families, even if His purposes are not known to us.