Monday, June 07, 2004

Four More Weeks

Bagel is now at 36 weeks and officially able to be delivered at our local hospital. It feels like he's been getting lower, if it's possible for him to get any lower without actually coming out.

Favorite Husband is out of town this week on business, so we are trying to trick Bagel into not being born during this week. We are telling him loudly that this week would be very convenient for him to be born, as the only commitment we have this week is my doctor appointment. As everyone knows, the single best predictor of when a baby will be born is the maximum point of the Inconvenience Index, which is determined by schedule and by how many relatives will be visiting at that time. Since F.H. is scheduled to be in town for the next several weeks and has non-refundable tickets for this week, this index would naturally reach its maximum this week while he is gone.

Calculating the Inconvenience Index is complicated. You have to take into account important appointments and travel plans for members of the extended family as well as the doctor. Non-refundable plane tickets add a considerable amount to the index, much more so than refundable plane tickets. Having the doctor out of town is also a major contributor. Important appointments that cannot be rescheduled, such as a school orientation, play a large role.

And lest you think this Inconvenience Index is nonsense, consider that:
* My father, an OBGYN, predicted the day and hour of my birth to within a 2 hour timeframe, using this index.
* I went into labor with Tiny Princess on the day Favorite Husband had his college orientation, shortly after some dear close relatives of ours went back to California.
* I had Sonshine on the day I was supposed to start teaching my favorite unit (fair division, the topic of my Master's paper) in my classes.
* We were able to fool my niece into being born while we were visiting by lying to her and telling her we were going back home and in 12 hours would be gone too far to turn back, when in fact we only went a few hours away. Sure enough, my sister-in-law went into labor 12 hours later.