The Ballad Of CPSIA

Every grassroots movement has to have its own folk song, right? Right?? It's like the law or something.

OK then. Well nobody else was doing it, so I wrote one. (Do I have to do everything around here?!?!)

Here it is. Now get to singing it. It should be in a minor key. Somebody needs to create a guitar accompaniment and some poignant harmony for the final chorus, and make a recording.

Don't make me come down there and sing it for you, you'll regret it. ;)

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The Ballad Of CPSIA

Now gather 'round my children, and listen to me tell
Of a time when toys were handmade, and blankets we did sell
But then one day it happened, and on that fateful day
We lost our children's industry to CPSIA.

Now Christmas time was comin', the kids had all been good,
And snow was lightly fallin' upon the neighborhood.
Mom opened up her inbox, and there what did it say?
"Save work-at-home moms, call Congress now, it's CPSIA!"

Oh C.P.S.I.A.
Oh what is this, the law we see today?
An ugly blight, oh what a sight, a symptom of decay,
Oh C. P. S. I. A.

At first Mom didn't understand, "They surely can't mean me,
For I've worked hard to make sure all my products are lead-free."
But Fashion Incubator had laid it out for sure.
Our businesses would have to close, or else they'd make us poor.

So eagerly Mom searched the web, there surely must be ways
To make it not apply to her, she searched for days and days,
But everything she read was dire, the fix it sure was in,
Her business it was doomed that day, with no way she could win.

Oh C.P.S.I.A.
We can't afford to do those tests today!
How will we find the money? We'll network and we'll pray...
Oh C. P. S. I. A.

Now there had been a meeting in Washington D.C.
For industry representatives with the C.P.S.C.
They'd pleaded dear, "Oh won't you hear what else we have to say?
The Tenth of February is our Bankruptcy Day."

Rick Woldenberg stood up to speak, the podium was his,
Upon deaf ears his words did fall, explaining why his biz
Could not do the impossible, the law said anyway
He'd have to do it or close down from C.P.S.I.A.

Oh C.P.S.I.A.
How could you write a law we can't obey?
No guidelines have been issued, to show us all the way.
Oh C. P. S. I. A.

The Tenth of February is looming closer now.
Our businesses are closing down, we cannot figure how
To make our lines compliant, so we'll just have to go
And our wee ones are trudging out into the winter snow.

Now gather 'round my children, and listen to me tell
Of a time when clothes were handmade, and warm things we did sell
But then one day it happened, and on that fateful day
We lost our children's industry to CPSIA.

Oh C.P.S.I.A.
Our Congress wrote a law we can't obey!
Oh you can bet we won't forget who brought us to this day.
Oh C. P. S. I. A.

Oh C.P.S.I.A.
Our Congress wrote a law we can't obey!
Oh you can bet we won't forget who brought us to this day.
Oh C. P. S. I. A.